We’ve all been there. You need advice, and a former mentor or coworker pops into your mind.
But then the doubt creeps in: “Will they think I’m annoying if I reach out?”
Let me clear this up right away—no, it’s not annoying. In fact, most people appreciate it. Reaching out is a form of networking, and when done thoughtfully, it strengthens relationships and opens doors. Let’s dive into why this fear is unfounded and how to confidently send that message.
Why Reaching Out Is Actually a Compliment
When you ask someone for advice, you’re showing that you value their perspective and trust their expertise. That’s a compliment, not a burden. Most mentors and coworkers enjoy hearing from people they’ve worked with—especially when it’s clear that their input made an impact on you.
Instead of worrying about being a bother, remind yourself that your outreach honors the relationship you’ve already built.
The Benefits of Reconnecting
Reaching out isn’t just good for you—it’s often good for the person you’re contacting. Relationships thrive on connection, and a simple message can:
- Strengthen the bond: Staying in touch shows you care and keeps the door open for future conversations.
- Lead to opportunities: Whether it’s a job lead, a new project, or a helpful introduction, reconnecting can open unexpected doors.
- Bring mutual value: Networking works both ways—sometimes, your outreach is the nudge they need to reconnect with you in the future.
How to Reach Out Without Feeling Awkward
Not sure what to say? Here’s a simple formula for a thoughtful message:
- Start with context: Mention how you know them (e.g., “I loved working with you on [project].”).
- Make your ask clear: Be concise about why you’re reaching out (e.g., “I’m navigating [challenge] and would value your advice.”).
- Show respect for their time: Offer flexibility (e.g., “If you have 15 minutes for a quick chat, I’d be so grateful.”).
Here’s an example:
Hi [Name],
I hope you’re doing well! I really enjoyed working together on [specific project]. I’m currently [briefly describe situation] and thought of you because of your expertise in [specific area]. If you have 15 minutes for a quick chat, I’d love to get your advice. Of course, no pressure if you’re busy—I completely understand. Thanks so much, and I hope all is well on your end!
What to Do If You Don’t Get a Response
Not hearing back right away? Don’t take it personally. People are busy, emails get buried, and life happens.
- Wait a few weeks: If it feels appropriate, follow up with a polite nudge.
- Don’t overthink it: Even if they don’t respond, your effort to reconnect was still a positive step.
Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, and that’s okay.
Real-Life Success Story
When I was in graduate school and applying for jobs, a career counselor suggested that I reach out to other alumni for informational interviews. I decided to take a chance and email the founder of Siri—who, like me, was a Brandeis University alum. To my surprise, he responded!
That conversation turned out to be a game-changer. He gave me valuable advice that ultimately led me to create a portfolio, which played a huge role in landing my first software engineering job.
The lesson? A simple message can have a lasting impact. You never know where reaching out might lead.
Conclusion: Just Send the Message
If you’re hesitating to reach out, remember this: It’s not annoying—it’s networking. A thoughtful message shows respect and appreciation for the person you’re contacting. And who knows? That small step could lead to big things.
So go ahead—send that message. Strengthen your relationships, show your appreciation, and open the door to opportunities. Who will you reach out to today?
If this was helpful and you’d like to chat with me more, schedule a consultation call! Whether or not you decide you’re interested in investing in career coaching I’ll make sure you leave with action steps to build a career you love – and hopefully more confidence in your networking ability!
